SWARGASHRAM SMARANAM

It is a tiny place on the bank of holy river Ganga on the opposite side of Rishikesh at the foothills of Himalayas in Shivalik Mountains. In fact it is here that the river flows out into the plains out of hills. Over the years it has developed into a good habitat and tourist place. It has charmed me since my childhood. To me, it is a place of great learning and entertainment both. Besides Purulia and Faridabad, it is Swargashram that I have visited and stayed more than any where else. It got transformed from a rustic dwelling of few huts scattered on hills, since my first visit some fifty years ago, to a well developed pilgrim and tourist place in due course. It was a virgin place and I had virgin mind. Perhaps I went naked, open and empty and without any idea. I was at very tender age of eight years or so at my first visit. Sometimes knowledge is a barrier. First and innocent visit perhaps provided me an opportunity later to creat many meaningful ideas of the place. It was like a poem to be composed or a song to be sung. It was last week of August 2003 when I planned to visit Swargashram once again along with my parents and Shobha for about a month or so. I was under process of sharing glimpses of my life with some one through mails very recently. It was a refreshing change and sentimental review of self to pass on to some one I started admiring very much. The idea of writing on self itself is result of typical instant attachment flourishing without any prejudice and intention. I am in the autumn season of my life and perhaps that was a shock to her. Perhaps she could not understand multi faced of love and intimacy, to start with atleast. To me it was a point of junction from where it could be diverted to any direction of mutual choice. There are people who live in dream world and others who face reality. I am one who wanted to turn one into another with full honesty. So I wanted to know her thoughts on it before I depart for a month or so to Swargashram. I put a questionery on mail with a request to respond instantly. I was delighted with her response which read like this: DO YOU LIKE ME? …………. YES DO YOU LIKE ANY SPECIFIC THING IN ME ?.....YES YOUR NATURE DO YOU LIKE TO BE MORE AS FAMILY MEMBER? ………. YES DO YOU LIKE TO BE CLOSER AFTER YOU LEAVE LNM AUTO? ….YES DO YOU LIKE TO BE CLOSER TO SHOBHA ALSO? ………..YES,OF COURSE DO YOU LIKE MY PAST AS TOLD SO FAR? ……. NO COMMENTS DID YOU GET ANSWER TO “ AISA BHI HOTA HAI KYA” ?.......AM CONFUSED DO YOU LIKE MY REMINDER TO KEEP SMILING? …………… YES DO YOU LIKE TO BE INTERESTED IN MY BIOGRAPHY?............... YES ANYTHING UNUSUAL IN IT ? ……………. NO DO YOU LIKE TO BE IN CONTACT FOR EVER? ………DEPENDS ON YOUR BEHAVIOUR DO YOU LIKE TO MISS ME? DON’T KNOW DO YOU LIKE TO TALK TO ME? SOMETIMES DO YOU LIKE ME TO TALK TO YOU? AS YOU WISH DO YOU LIKE ME TO VISIT YOUR HOME? ………WHEN RIGHT TIME WILL LET YOU GO DO YOU LIKE LNM AUTO AND ITS WORK CULTURE? VERY MUCH I was delighted to have these answers. It was more than distinction marks that I got. And I left for Swargashram happily. I made it a point to share my routine and in particular the essence of discourses that I would have, with her and Sangeet. There was a cyber café on the bank of the Ganges. I had fixed up a seat facing the window to look into the flowing river while writing the mails. To give a realistic idea, let me enclose those mails: My dear sangeet, Thanks for all that u r doing for me.I know it’s not desirable for you both to know many unknown facts of my life .But U both take interest now and r doing the job regularly for me. Hence thanks once again. We r now settled at swargashram. First day was slightly disturbing for me,feeling home and office sickness,.Well trying to get settled.From yesterday,we r on routine,attended Geetapath at 4.30 am to 5.30 and then the prayer was attended by Swami Ramsukhdasji for whom we come here so regularly.At the age of 100 around he seems to be with full energy and as promised earlier he has made attainment very easy.He told yesterday that by merely accepting the existence of GOD in all living and unliving things,we can be in peace and tranquality.There is nothing except His presence in this world.He has further clarified the matter today.GOD can not be investigated.It is to be believed and accepted.And once you accept his presence in all,you are filled with love and life becomes peaceful. My dear sangeet, Today was a remarkable day,no doubt.Programme wise and weatherwise too.Its around 7.30 in evening and I have just come to mail you immediately after AArti at Parmarth.All aarti and bhajans were sung by Muniji himself.Today being Thursday ’Ai mere Gurudeo Karuna’ was also included.It was just heart touching. A line of mist was all over the ganges, I was standing on the bank at parmarth Ghat.Ganges is flowing very rapidly with continued music of waives.Earlier I phoned her from there before Aarti and she could listen the sound of the Ganges very distinctly.Dark clouds were over the hills,but it did not rain sofar.And while writing mail,I can see the ganges flowing thru the window.Yesterday there was no power in night and myself and Goura were talking till very late sitting outside under full moon.Shobha is not well so was inside.She has been missing a lot this time,she did not take Ganges bath and missed Arti and Ramayan too.Hope she would recover soon. Today in Ramayan, both Ram and Sita could see eachother in Janakpur in the garden where Sita went to worship Gouri.What a distinct discription Tulsidasji made.The person leading the chopais used different classical ragas and it was so soothing and heart touching.If convenient read the chopais from 222 to 236 in Balkand.You both are well conversant with hindi and your hindi writing is also good, you can enjoy it. Regarding swamijis satsang,its just passing the climax.Since last 15 years ,I have been here regularly to listen to him.Once he told ,that within few years he would comeout with some new and fresh analysis of Geeta which would enable oneness with the God,the easiest of all efforts..Since our arrival this time,he is just repeating again and again that the world is nothing but God everywhere.You take it with resolved and feel His presence always and that will end to happiness and only happiness.There is nothing except GOD and happiness in this world,according to him.Just accept it and enjoy.As we consider Ram and Krishna as HIs Awatar,the world is the Adi Awtar as He constituted it first.What he preaches,he means it.You can just realise how cheerful he is and truely he considers all surroundings as presence of God.This noon ,he started negatively that we accept our father and mother without knowing them,the females accept the husband just instantly after marriage,even we accept a Guru as God on taking Diksha,but wedont accept the God to be present all over.There is nothing except God. I wish you all to be here rightforth as this is never to happen for long time.I have never persuaded you or even Goura after her marriage to come to us on our request,but today my feelings are that you and all whom I love must rush up here to realise the truth of life,to realise Him for which we are here.You may get disappointed too as you know the story of the Elephant anf six blindmen,because everyone has his own perception about things.But at this moment my desire is this.Further I think at this moment that even if we feel the happiness and oneness at the time of Satsang and preaching by swamiji only, still it is worth leaving all and living here.I just forsee that life will not be the same again,thinking on different plans.There are many alternative engagements worth try here,we r just utilising 40% time sofar.Lot of creativities attract me to be here.Shobha is not inclined to return back right forth,but we will consider many aspects for sure.Well,if it so happen, will you both come to see us at times? I once again thank you both for all that you r doing for me. My dear sangeet, Its pouring since 8 in the morning.But I am here in the cybre cafe to write u mails.It has been an addiction developing.Once I complete my write ups, which I want to complete within this year atleast..Now as regular customer,the staff here gives me preference.They also know my choice of seat facing the window thru which I can see the Ganges flowing.Its foggy on the ganges as well as on hills surrounding.weatherwise as well as discourses wise it has been the best trip and as I wrote earlier,life should not be the same again.Well its always changing as the scenes around here get changing.Every moment the position of clouds on the hills and in the sky gets changing,sometimes I just keep on watching at randomly and thinkng on life and its ever changing colors.Swamiji keeps on saying the same daily.No one can keep it constant.The childhood grows to youth and to old and ultimately to death.No one can keep healthwise as it is,same is with wealth,friends,relatives and all and nothing is ours permanently nor we can keep them as we want to.But we remain the same,the changes occur in our body and suroundings.So we and our He remain the same.That is why we should accept it that we both r for each other and let rest of all go as per the rule of nature.We should try to make all smiling and cheerful without expecting anything in return. I have some changes in routine too.After Ramayan,I learn harmonium from 2 to 3 in noon.In the evening after Ganga aarti,I join classical Bhajan followed with aarti in a basement room adjascent to swamijis sant niwas,where ladies r not allowed and a very beautiful and gracious Banke Beharijis idol placed.For most of the time till 10 in night,bhjans,pooja and kirtan go on there.I remain there for half an hour and then again practicise harmonium for 45 minutes.So now I sit on computer from 10 am to 11.30 in place of evening.If I could learn to play and sing even HARE RAM HARE RAM RAM RAM HARE HARE,it will be a great support to me in my loneliness at any time.I will have to find some teacher at Faridabad too to continue this.I think,I am trying to follow yr instructions,sangeet which u gives from time to time whenever I am upset.Yes,I am building up some confidence in me to fight my own sentimental weakness. Regarding return prog,we have different ideas.Babuji wants to return with sandeep when he be here arond 26/27,Bai wants to return on 5th after nawaparayan and amazingly Shobha wants to be here for good.She discussed the matter with babuji and might take up with bai too.I am keeping my cards close to me only.I understand the hurdles to fulfill Shobhas desire.Detachment needed first or living apart may develop it in due course,I dont know.I will try to take life as it comes.I would like you both to put forward yr valuable suggestions. In ramayan,Ram sita vivah to be followed with Sitajis Vidai to come today and tomorrow.I will write about it then.Thats all for today.If u both think it proper,letters addressed to u both,may constitute part of my write ups.and these letter may be mailed to sandeep also after u both read it carefully. Love My dear sangeet, This time weather is splendid and romantic and so r all the programmes here around.Day before yesterday it dizzled for about 18 hours and there after its cloudy.Nawaparayan Ramayan to start from saturday and we expect to return to Faridabad on sunday 5th night. Today I am to focus on yesterday noon discourses by swamiji.It was a routine to have a question answer session for half hour and then kirtan HARe RAM... for half hour to be followed with silence ranging from 5 to 20 minutes depending on how swamijis deep mood returns to normal.Yesterday he was asked to say something of his liking in place of questions.And he began like..... Mere pas naya kuchh bhi nahin hai, ap yeh man lo ki ap bhagwan ke ho aur Bhagwan ke alawa ap ka koi bhi nahin hai.Sarir aur sansar kewal seva karneke liye hai,kuchh bhi pane ke liye nahinhai.Agar ap is se asha rakhenge to rang birange dukh milte rahenge aur agar ap bhagwan ke ho jayange to abhi se sirf Khusi aur prasanta milegi.So,saral hriday se dridhtapurvak,yeh man leve. Since we came everytime he asked for the same in different way, sometime positively or sometime negatively.He further told,main aaj sabko ghar sigri (means with all family) nimantran deta hun to accept this and enjoy the joy of life for all time to come.I thought to discuss with shobha at night when we usually meet to accept this on principle if even we fail to sustain it as he is requesting again and again.He gave an example,while getting our daughter married,just on declaring by purohit,we accept her to become one with other family,to accept some one as her husband and in laws and ourself becoming secondary henceforth.Why not accept a request from a sadhu,who never asked for any favour so far in 70 years of his services.That made all very sentimental and tears rolled down for his honesty and sincere purpose to make all happy.So I thought to be committed to try to think like that.Then the Kirtan started and everyone was crying with emotion and he again requested wth folded hands to trust on him and act with determination.In place of silence he again spoke with emotion to join him and be ever happy.He wanted a confirmation from the masses.At this the kirtanwala instantly made a bhajan accepting his open invitation to all and making promises on behalf of all and at the bank of ganga with ganga to be the witness to accept it with full determination and let God support this promise.It was just out of world situation and feelings.I just miss you both and all my kins.I really wanted that tum dono bachian yahan hoti and sandeep minoo and kids bhi yahan ayen and get swayed by this.SAndeep is coming here on 27th.I would like you to join him ,but she has other plans or reservations.But I intend to bring you and her,ofcourse if she consents,here when you visit us next time atleast for three days.Make your plan as early as possible,mind that swamiji is 100 years old I hope you both to find time to read these mails properly and come out with your viwes and feelings that will help me a lot.Thanks and love My dear sangeet Today is third day of navratra and third day of Navaparayan too.Its my first opportunity to participate in such Ramayan path,led by some radio artist from Jodhpur and team with harmonium,tabla,flute etc.More than one thousand people singing in chorus is just remarkable.Two seatings of each 2.15 minute and a break of half hour.I had my doubt to sit so long..So to start with I prayed,Prabhu,man prem aur Bhakti se bhar jaye.And I tell you I am feeling the same.Even Babuji is very regular sofar.Sangeet,you have this experience,you can feel it.Each situation of Ramayan gets into your heart directly.I have once read Ramayan in full and many times in parts,but this is a unique experience and I am enjoying it.First Shiwjis Vivah and then Ramjis birth and today was Ram vivah.All the discription was so touchy and soothing.In every Chopai,they change the Raag to make itmore interesting .Hope we would be completing it and then will leave for Faridabad on 5th.Sandeep and family is here.Its first time that we all r here.Hope they too like the place and come very often. I was thinking on Sita ram vivah and my mind went back to all four marriages that took place in our family during my memory.And idea clicked to write about all in details as you all r not aware of all .Remind me to write about all that I promised and postponed. Let me tell you one incident about it.Its not to boast of myself,but to convey how Babuji took it.Biren had attended both sandeep’s and sangeet’s marriage and when the couple were on dias during marriage and reception,he congratulated babuji on both occasions to see how grand the couple looked like.Babuji was overwhelmed on the graciousness of God and on my selection ,but he left Biren guessing with his remarks: that you were not present during yr friend’s and Shobha’s marriage,that was the couple like Sitaji and Ramji’s couple and it still reflected in his mind on these all marriages.Well,I didnot see how our couple looked like on that occasion,Shobha still might match or might be compared with Sita but I could never be anywhere near Ram in whatever way.But to Babuji,at the time of marriage our couple was the best on appearance. Janakji was known as bidehi, but became dehi twice only, once when he saw Ramji and once during Sitas bidai otherwise he was immune of any worldly feelings. We r into Poojas, enjoy it and love. My dear ….. I am just coming from discourses.And let me quote today’s last ritual: Agar aap kisi ko bhi jane aur anjane kabhi bhi kisitarah ki bhi taklif pahuchate hain,to ise swikar karen aur aap ki galti ho ya na ho,mafi mang leven.Maaf karna ya na karna unke haath men hain. I just rushed to write to you with inspiration from there.I dont know how,but I have hurt you,that much I know.So,let me ask and request you to execuse me for any such act of mine,knowingly or unknowingly.And dont be under presuure,its yr sweet will to excuse me or not. You must be in Pooja mood, enjoy it.Its celebrated as win of goodness over evil.Let goodness prevail on our relation and all confusion or ill thought should be won over by love and affection.At least from my side its a new beginning and a great feeling I have within me to accept you as my closest ward,even if it be one sided.It has been there in my mind and heart from the first day I felt for it,now I have conveyed to you and so I feel happy about it. I had conveyed to you also sometime directly or indirectly.My straight talk with your mom at calcutta and very recently from here indicates the same.When you were not received by anyone at sangeet’s place,I specifically phoned and talked with yr mom on this.With any wrong intentions,can anyone dare to talk so directly.I told you once,Dont be upset or angry to any one,mere par gussa ho sakti ho,so its ok if you r angry with me,only I want to know the reason,if you could let me know.Dont forget but if possible forgive and develop afresh.I will like to wish you and yr family on pooja thru sms. My dear Sangeet, It hasbeen one month since we arrived here.Weather has ever be changing since then.For three weeks we enjoyed the cloudy and rainy season.Now rains have gone and nights r cooler and days are with bright sun.Cold and fast wind blows through out night here as it is situated in a valley.The Navaparayan Yagya has also got into its sixth day.Ayodhyakand is over and tomorrow will be Aranyakand,kiskindha kand and Sundarkand.So another three days are left over out of this trip.Yesterday all of sudden bai and babuji both got fever.Still they continue with Ramayan,though missed morning satsang. Ayodhyakand seems to be the most eventful.Return of Ram after marrying Sita, preparation for the coronation of Ram as Yuvraj,Ram Vanvash,death of Dashrath,Meeting of Nisad and kewat with Ram,Bharats return to Ayodhya,Bharat Ram milap in Vanvash,return of Bharat to Ayodhya with Rams Paduka are some of the very emotional events in the Ayodhyakand.And how lively it has been described,I could ! know this time only when all 2000 odd people enchanting it got carried away with the happenings.When Ram set out for vanvash to obey Dashrath,the whole of Ayodhya came out with him and returned to Ayodhya with hopes of his return after 14 years when Ram left them in early hours of morning without informing.They had a hope and faith of his rerturn so could pass 14 long years just in hope.But in Krishna’s case,Gopis knew that he would not return back and still they passed their lives in devotion to his love.Krishna once left for Mathura never returned back to the Gopis or to the places where he spent his childhood with Gopis and Gwalas.That makes Gopis the greatest lovers having no expectations in return of their total love for Krishna. All the events in Ayodhyakand are full of emotions and tears.Sita and laxman’s resolutions to join Ram to vanvash,Dashraths mental status and death,Kewats meet with Ram and free transport across the river and Bharat milap are climax of emotions,to mention with.What I want to imress,dont consider Ramayan only as religious book only and try to find time to read and discuss it thoroughly,whenever convenient. Ram has already moved from Ayodhya to Chitrkoot and I intend to write about my visits to both places, before writing about SWARGASHRAM SMARANAM.I had a mind to write about my various visits to swargashram from here,but could not write sofar,will take up soon.May be I dont write so regular henceforth and want to go thru all write ups once to recollect what already written.All the letters written from here to you both may constitute as my write ups on this swargashram trip. I once again place my thanks to you both for your inspiration and involvement in this not that necessary project.Love My dear sangeet This is to be the last such letter from here unless I find something very important to write tomorrow.And from Faridabad, frequency should not be the same, will write very occasionally.We are otherwise fine,but Babuji is not well.Ramayan’s two more days left over.We are likely to leave from here on 5th noon to arrive at Faridabad in night.More than a month and some significant change should be there in thinking and living.If so will write about that after some time.You both must be among Pooja celebrations.Its being the most festive season in Bengal and sangeet to be in holidays ,must be enjoying the only long holiday in the year.And you like to enjoy Pooja in your locality in Faridabad amongst your own people,so must be in very refreshing mood.3.35 in noon is the sandhi pooja time and all should be in pooja pandal in Purulia waiting for the crackers to follow.Its being celebrated typically in Purulia and Bankura.This year I had a mind to visit pooja pandals in Faridabad,but could not do that.Whats store in for next year,dont know.Well,wish you both the best of festival season.And would be happy to know how you celebrated it. In Ramayan,we are into Lankakand.After Sitaharan and friendship with Sugriva,Ramji crossed into Lanka and Vibhisan also joined him.There were many emotional description in between.During Ram Vanvas in Ayodhyakand,I remembered the Bhajan,VAN ME DEKHA DOI VANBASI,which sangeet used to sing and once sandeep composed its music.I always got moved by this Bhajan.At times I still sing it to Shobha.Just when I was thinking on it,Soniji,the main singer here started singing it in between Ramayan.And it reminded me of all about. Sandeep is to leave for Purulia on 6th morning and I will be missing him miserably in office and home.I find it very discomfortable without him around in Faridabad.and particularly in office I feel very at home in when sandeep and you be around.Sometimes I dont like myself sitting in sandeep’s office through out without any significant assignment,but cant help otherwise.I wish but dont know when we be together.See if you could come over here in November. So bye till I write again. My dear sangeet, I am again on net to write the last mail on Ramayan as I intend to start a fresh chapter with fresh subject from Faridabad.So last mail from here.Some change in prog, will leave from here around 4 pm. Today we have stepped into Uttarkand via Lanka kand.Tomorrow it will be over by 3 pm with Ram Rajyavisek and then a big Shobha Yatra,which we will skip. In Lankakand,it refers mainly to Ram Ravan fight and ultimately Ravan got killed.I want to highlight some very touching and exciting moments in between., You know,Ram killed Ravan and won over Lanka,but never entered into it.After Ravan was killed,he asked Hanumanji,Sugriva and all to enter into lanka and coronate Vibhisan.Because he was committed to be in Vanvash till completion of 14 years and still two days were left.How strongly he was committed to his father. Then he asked vibhishan to arrange for a viman as to be in Ayodhya just on the promised day otherwise Bharat would kill himself as he was to wait till the last day of 14 years of Vanvash. He further sent Hanumanji in advance to inform Bharat and all Ayodhyavashi that he would be reaching just in time as there waiting time was over and to be cheerful.He knew their sentiments and eagerness to see him and was so careful for the same. And when hanumanji reached Bharat and told all about happenings during Banvash, Bharat just wanted to know whether Ram could find moments to remember him and if so how did he remember him. On reaching Ayodhya, while entering the palace, Ram first entered into Kaikayis room and met her and then moved to Kaushalya and Sumitra,though Kaikayi was behind his banvash.And most touching was the return of all monkeys and their leaders after staying with Ram so long and fighting for him against Ravan and in search of Sita. And in Aranyakand Rams meet with sabri eating her tasted berries resembles with what Krishna did at Bidur’s place.Do you remember dear sangeet,AAJ HARI AAYE BIDUR GHAR PAWNA,its still the same touching and close to heart Bhajan as it was when you used to sing.Please refresh all those hobbeys. By the way,I will attend todays aarti within a few minutes then Harmonium class and tomorrow morning prayer at 4,30,jlast time of this trip.Yes,we have made some resolutions this time and wish me that I remain committed to them for ever.I tried to learn six bhajans or kirtans and a few SAREGAMA and hope to practicise and learn more at Faridabad. So bye bye from here, wish you both happy vijaya.Likely to see you dear sangeet on 16th Nov at Calcutta and you on 6th October in office.Love We returned as per program. Babuji was not well and had to be on treatment for a month or so. Soon we were into Dipawali preparation. Year 2003 was coming to end. We visited her home before leaving for Bharatpur Agra trip with Sameep and Divyansh on the occasion of New Year We went to Purulia in January. But Swargashram was always in memory. So we again planned to visit it in March. This time it was me and Shobha only and for a short stay of ten days. We planned to be there on 11th March, which is incidentally Shobha’s birthday. We had to postpone our program by a day for Kennametal bids. It was a unique experience of participating in an open bid. And we were successful to win the order. Sandeep could add another feather to his cap. We left on 12 th morning. Bai Babuji Champoo Dinu Sandeep Minoo Divyansh and Kanta were there to see us off. Sameep did not come out of home as usual.He does not like to see anyone off. HAR GHARI BADAL RAHI HAI……the popular song was on radio and that gave me a lot to ponder about.It is the fact. Every moment everything gets changed around us. Some changes are so slow that becomes insignificant and some very distinct to imprint its mark.My thoughts were into my previous visits to Swargashram We drove non stop and arrived our destination by noon.It was spring and trees were without leaves waiting for new leaves to come. I enjoyed the beauty of trees without leaves with hopes of new green leaves by the time I would return.Soon we were on Ganga ghat. Water level was very low than what we saw in last visit after rains. But water was very clean. It had same flow as ever. I had witnessed it since more than fifty years in intervals. I thought to record all about my visits to this lovely place during this stay. I peeped into my memory to recollect the numbers of visit at the first instance. It was tentatively the 30th visit and my stay over here ranging from few hours to months.My first visit was in 1953 when I was 8 years old. There was no bridge or motor boat facility to cross over the unspoilt Ganges. There were a few country boats run by Kalikamali wala ashram or otherwise famous Laxmanjhhula bridge was there about two miles away.There were very few dwellings, shops or even Ashrams. We stayed in Kalikamliwala ashram for about three weeks situated on a small hill a bit away from the Ganges. A few tin sheded rooms with no amenities were there for the pilgrims. I was with my grandmother and a few of her associates. Later Shiwji along with his father joined us there. There was thick forest around the Ashram where we would roam at random. There was Laxminarain temple on the bank of the Ganges. I don’t remember the existence of famous Geetabhawan at that time. Only Sadhus or pilgrims on way to Badrinath Kedarnath temples used to stay over there in transit. Kalikamliwala was a reverend saint who popularized the Uttarakhand Yatra consisting of visit to Badrinath Kedarnath Yamunotri and Gangotri by providing dwelling huts at various places on way along with supply of necessary provisions and food etc. Later my mother and little Goura joined us and we left for Badrinath and Kedarnath .That was the purpose of our visit and stay over there. Shiwji and his father returned back to Purulia. After all necessary preparation through Kalikamaliwala, we took off on to a very tough journey. We went by bus upto Devprayag about 4/5 hours journey from Rishikesh. Before that we walked up to Garurchatti via Laxmanjhula for a ritual before commencing the journey. I still have memories of a beautiful water fall there around. Three years back I went to see the place and was sorry to see its plight. With good motorable roads all over now no one goes for the rituals and place has turned to be like ruins. Beyond Devprayag, we had to walk down all the way. My grandmother was taken in a planque carried by four persons as she was too old to move of her own. Our luggage was carried by four labourers. We hired a horse to be used by any one of us on being tired in between. As I have blurred memory of the trip, hence no details or sequence are with me. There were five pryags on way where two rivers meet namely Devprayag, Rudraprayag, Karna prayag, Vishnu prayag and Nanda prayag. The conjuction of two rivers made beautiful site, I remember. At Rudra prayag we passed through a tunnel, under construction at that time. We also visited Trijuginarain and Toomnath, though they were not on the way. Huts were made of bumboos and were covered with Bhojpatras. There was no electricity. Local people were very poor. They used to beg for thread and needle for repairing of their old clothes. We met with earthquack tremors at two/three places on way. We would travel about ten to fifteen kilometers every day. We crossed over a hanging bridge at Vishnu pryag. We enjoyed snow fall at Kedarnath.It took three or four weeks to return back to Rishikesh. It was an adventurous pilgrimage by all means. During my subsequent visit to those places, though our journey and stay was comfortable, I missed the rustic way of living and the true beauty of nature. Though I was a child, it got its imprint engraved very deep into my mind and heart. The horseman and the labourers who carried our luggage through out were very sad at the time of depart after spending weeks together and so were we all. My horizon might be limited at that time. I could revisit the place again with broad horizon. But it is very refreshing and thrilling to think of the great adventurous journey in to mighty Himalayas as a child trekker. It was a dream journey which hardly seems real now. My next visit to Swargashram could take place in 1961 only after pre university examination. I along with Raman planned for Mussoorie and Shimla and my parents joined us at the last moment. I had to extend my stay at Swargashram for my illness for three weeks before going to Mussoorie for ten days and visit to Shimla got cancelled. We had good occasion to explore life at Swargashram once again. It had got changed a lot since my last stay some eight years back. The famous CHOTIWALA restaurant had come up though in small way along with Geeta bhawan no 1 and 2 and Parmarth niketan. Country boat got upgraded by motor boat to cross over the Ganges curtesy Geetabhawan. On Rishikesh side Shiwanad ashram and Kailash asram had come up. Jaidayalji Goenka, the founder of Geetabhawan was at the helm of all affairs of development and spiritual discourses there at the bhawan and at under a banyan tree about one kilometer away on the bank of the Ganges. I was least interested in these activities at that time whereas bai Babuji had come for that purpose only. But foundation for later inclination was laid down perhaps. I was more interested in taking bath in the Ganges and roaming around up to Laxmanjhoola through mangoe grove. Our servant was a good swimmer and we could enjoy floating on wooden slippers with his help. Density of forest was diminishing with construction of various ashrams destroying the natural beauty of the place. I would often discuss with Raman and Bai about its virgin beauty that I had seen as a child. In fact I would miss that but still enjoyed my stay over there very much. I was enchanted with its natural hilly surroundings, rustic but homely facilities, simple and friendly people, the ever flowing Ganges and its chilled refreshing abundant water coming directly from the Glacier. My third visit to the palce `was for an hour or two in july 1966. I was on way from Mussoorie to Amritsar with Jijaji and Omji. I intentionally made a halt on the Rishikesh side of Swargashram to describe all about it to them who had never visited the place so far. It was raining all the way, I remember. Later we took holy dip in to the Ganges at Har ki peri, Haridwar and left for Amritsar. After extending my stay at Amritsar for nine days I returned back home and on 23rd of the same month, we were blessed with Sandeep. In 1979, we again spent some hours in Swargashram on our way to Uttarakhand Yatra. I was accompanied with Shobha, Goura, Omji, Sandeep and Madhur. It was my intention to let children know about Swargashram which has fascinated me all along. I took them to all Ashrams after holy dip into Ganges sharing all about my previous visits to the place. We crossed to Swargashram on motor boat and returned to get into our car via Laxmanjhoola. We took lunch at Chotiwala which got expanded to a good restaurant now. By this time many shops have come up on the bank of the Ganges just above Ghats. Within hours we left for Srinagar, the capital town of Pouri Garhwal via Devprayag. We had night stay there and left for Gourikund very next morning via Gupta kashi. At Gupta Kashi, our panda joined us and we made night halt at Gourikund. It was a good motorable road up to Gourikund. Now we were to enter into the beautiful Kedar valley and through trekking road to Kedarnath about 14 kilometers away. There was hot water spring at Gourikund. A dip in it refreshes the tired pilgrim to take on the stiff route ahead to Kedarnath at around 11000 ft.above sea level. Though the trekking path was so much beautiful with Madakini flowing side by side, I felt suffocation as I approached Kedarnath by evening. Sandeep enjoyed the valley climbing with a big transistor in his hand to listen the commentary of India Australia test mach. We stayed overnight there, performed Pooja at 4 am in shivering cold, took hot JALEBI as breakfast and left for Gourikund. It took 24 hours to complete Kedarnath Yatra where as it took about a fortnight during my early visit. We left for Badrinath with night stay at Uttarkashi in between. Next afternoon we arrived at Badrinathdham. I could notice the great transformation with interest. Good Dharamsalas and guest houses with good amenities had come up. The flow of Alaknanda and the snow claded Nar ans Narain peaks of Himalayas stood as ever without any significant change. But the rustic and natural surrounding had gone sea change due to urbanization. After staying for two nights there we took off the return journey back to Haridwar, our base camp. In 1984 or 85, I alongwith Sangeet and Shobha had an adventurous tour of Gangotri and Jamunotri. We visited Swargashram for some time though we stayed at Haridwar in transit. During that visit I took DIKSHA from Swami Swaroopa nandji, the holy Shankaracharya of Jyotispith and Dwarka pith. That was beginning of inclination to spirituality a bit. He wanted me to devote some fixed time meditation with a specific MANTRA very regularly. Before this I was never committed to do anything like that regularly though I would attend various spiritual discourses at times conveniently. Bai and babuji kept on visiting Swargashram very regularly to attend Swami Ramsukhdas ji’s discourses and programmes in particular. They would share the themes with me occasionally. I got inclined to his philosophy a bit through books and cassettes brought by them from Swargashram. Ramsukhdasji popularly known as Swamiji was at the helms of all programmes at Geetabhawan since many years after death of Jaydayalji. But I did not have any opportunity to attend him or his programmes at Swargashram so far. In 1987 Bai Babuji visited Swargashram for a month or so along with Sangeet. He had to return back hurriedly due to ill health. He had to discontinue regular visit to Swargashram. So he wanted me to go there conveniently with specific purpose of attending Swamiji’s discourses. He was confident of moving towards inner peace through it. He wanted me to attend, follow and attain what he could attain so far. Fortunately swamiji was persuaded to visit Purulia for three days. And Babuji made it a point omake us all attend his prayers and discourses without fail. Babuji’s inspiration and insistence made my next visit to Swargashram in 1988 with some different and specific purpose. They always stayed at Geetabhawan though with lots of inconvenience and discomfort. But he suggested me to make my stay at Parmarth Niketan with modern amenities available there. This was a very practical option to keep interest alive for long. Earlier Sangeet had developed contact with Muniji, the president of Parmarth Niketan during her last visit. Though I was fascinated towards tranquility and natural beauty of the place since many years, a new beginning was made in 1988.Now interest and inclination was to be developed towards principles of Geeta through Swamiji’s discourses. On arrival, we went straight to meet Muniji at his office. Only Shobha was with me. There was heavy rush of pilgrims for accommodation. They were selectively denied with no vacancy available. We silently waited. Once every one gone away, he enquired about our purpose of waiting. I informed him of my purpose to stay for a week in Ashram. I don’t know what made him to instruct his assistant to let us stay in Laxmi Kutir, one of the best furnished accommodations. We were provided with tea and snacks every morning during our stay. We informed all about us and Sangeet in our next meeting with Muniji. On fourth day the donor of the flat came from Badrinath. We wanted to vacate the premises but he not only insisted us to continue but forced us to share meals with him. Thus we came into contact with Sri Parmatma saranji and his wife from Meerut. We stayed there for a week or so participating in prayer, Ganga Aarti, regular Ganga bath both times but our main emphasis was to attend Swamiji’s spiritual Satsang and discourses very regularly to understand and follow it. He was approaching 90 and his voice had become feeble. We had to be accustomed to it gradually with deep attention, to start with. It was a new beginning. So far my attraction about the place was its natural beauty with ever flowing Ganges amongst surrounding hills. Now it was the true art of living through Swamiji’s discourses.We had the real opportunity to live fully with passion and meaning and profound satisfaction. It helped us to uncover the soul to remove the layers of fear or shame or apathy that conceal it so far. A good opportunity to start and we decided to come over again and again for the purpose. Swamiji would stay over there for about three months in summer and we made it a point to visit at least once every summer. Next summer we again went there to stay for ten days. That time didi jijaji Goura and Omji also accompanied us. That period was full of tension for me. Sandeep’s marriage was approaching and my factory at Sohna was under installation process. In addition as usual Babuji was not in good condition health wise and Bai had developed a serious throat problem. But my inclination to this art of living made me to come over there in search of some solace. We stayed at Parmarth Niketan in the same Laxmi kutir. We also had two rooms booked in Vanprastha Ashram for Goura Omji. We made a donation of Rs.50000/ to parmarth Niketan for construction of a single room flat for our accommodation in future. We had developed personal contact and rapport with Muniji now. But our purpose was to go through and learn to practicise the philosophy of Geeta through Swamiji’s discourses.This time we had an opportunity to meet Swamiji in person for the first time. He enquired if I had any specific agenda of discussion with him. I did not have any such specific query in mind and just wanted to have his DARSHAN. He advised of his own, I quote “ AGAR DARSHAN HI KARNA HAI TO GANGAJI KA KARO JO ANWARAT BAH RAHI HAI AUR YUGO SE JEEWAN DAN KAR RAHI HAI APNE NIRMAL JAL SE. AUR SURYA KA DARSHAN KARO PRITHWI BANI HAI TAB SE ROSHANI AUR SHAKTI DE RAHE HAIN. AYE HO TO PRATIDIN GANGA SNAN KARO, ANAWARAT BHAGWAN KO YAD KARO. JO HO RAHA HAI USE SHUBH MANO.APNE BACHO KO KOI BHI TAKLEEF NAHI DETA TO PARAMPITA JINKE HUM BACHE HAIN KABHI BHI HAME TAKLEEF NAHI DE SAKTE,YAH BISWAS RAKHO. BHAGWAN KO HAR PAL YAD KARNE KA PRAYATNA KARO AUR HAR HAAL ME KHUSH RAHO.’ And his words worked as miracles to provide me necessary strength out of worries to manage Sandeep’s marriage assignments and my early years of struggle at Faridabad and Sohna. I made up my mind there after to come over there to be recharged from time and again. My approach to life started changing positively though not to the extent it aught to be. Till 1999 we made it to be there every summer. Gradually the place became home away from home to us. We made good contacts here. All faces around looked familiar. It so happened twice that I visited the place alone. Shobha could not come for some or other reason. It developed like an addiction. Once I arrived at Haridwar on way to Swargashram here on 2nd July. I was not aware about a complete strike being observed on the day every year. I was suggested to stay over at Haridwar only. But I was restless to reach my destination. I had to walk down for ten kilometers with luggage in my hands in that grueling summer to reach Swargashram. It was daring though but I became at home in and very comfortable at Swargashram. Though my coming here alone could never be appreciated by Shobha, Sandeep or other family members but I could not resist. I feel very intimately and sentimentally attached to the place and enjoy the much sought after state of peace here through discourses on Geeta by swamiji. Now swamiji was approaching hundred years and was not in good health. So he disclosed his willingness to be at Swargashram only and not to go away from the Ganges any more. That thrilled me. I decided to visit the place at least twice in a year and in pleasant weather instead of during summer days. We could make it to be there some time thrice in a year in different seasons there after. After Shobha’s illness in 2001, we would stay at Van Prastha Ashram in place of Parmarth Niketan for convenience and comfort. But we would attend all programs of swamiji. I enjoyed my staying here in all months and seasons. It presents a different situation in different season.Though it remains a bit deserted in winter but still very much enjoyable. All programs go on as usual in all the seasons without depending on the audience, participants or weather. We would start our routine around 4.30 am by attending prayer, satsang, kirtan, Gangabath, Ramayan path, and noon discourses, Ganga Arti in evening etc. It was very spiritual and hectic routine. In addition we would enjoy natural surroundings and ever flowing Ganges. Sometimes we took naturopathy treatment and yoga classes also. In early years I would attend Rotary Club meetings at Haridwar and Rishikesh. But of late I tried to devote fully towards satsang and the Ganges and surrounding hills. Last time I learnt playing on harmonium a bit. So I am with my harmonium this time and give some time towards it also. Within a week weather has changed. Summer is knocking at the door. Shobha is also not at the best of health. So we are not that regular To Ganga bath and Aarti. Swamiji is also not well. He addresses from his room only. Duration of his address has been curtailed as per doctor’s advice and rest of the time is being devoted to bhajans and kirtans. But we attend all his programs. Yesterday he suggested us to look into ourselves to feel the ever going changes. Childhood paved way to youth and youth to old age. We can not recognize our own photograph of childhood. It is the way of life and we must prepare to face and accept it. The plus point is that we as person don’t get changed.I was LNM as child or youth or even today. The changes occur as per destiny. We should have trust on destiny to lead life at lease. In course of these visit and stay here, I could make some useful contacts too. Once with no vacancy available, we were accommodated in Swami Bhagwatanandji’s room. Thus we came in his contact who suggested us to take Swami Gopalanandji to Purulia for Bhagwat katha, which we intended to arrange. It was a grand program and we could participate in it with full family including Sangeet and Goura. His discourses were appreciated by one and all in Purulia. I could make good contact with swami Ashanganandji, the chairperson of Parmarth Niketan. Swami Pragyanad ji was another person who instilled a fresh way of art to live life very lively. Dr.Soni, who would explain Swamiji’s discourses very minutely visited us in Faridabad also.After his meeting with Babuji, he suggested me to consider him as a great soul and not only as my father. During one such visit, I came to know through newspaper that Swami Shwaroopanandji was at Badrikashram during that period. We drove to Badrikashram very next day. It was our third visit to the place. We stayed at his Ashram at Joshimath for one night in transit and then stayed with him at his Ashram at Badrkashram. That was a rare opportunity to interact with him one to one. It was raining all the way there and that made it an adventurous journey and stay over there. Since 1987, Babuji discontinued to come down to Swargashram due to ill health. But I had in mind to find an opportunity to bring him once again at the place he cherished most. I am happy that it could be possible twice very recently. We could spend one month each time here in spite of all odds so far his health was concerned. It was a great occasion when the whole family was here for two/three days when Sandeep< Minoo and children joined us. He seems to be very much satisfied to find our inclination and interest towards preaching of Swamiji. Every time I come here I take some resolutions to be followed and adopted. And I feel its impact in life and daily routine but not up to the mark. Progress is slow but towards positive end. My gradual withdrawal from routine domestic affairs to hand over the lead to Sandeep and Minoo is one of the positive outcomes. I could control to react through transcendence to some extent. I could learn to know how to watch my own feelings from at a distance with less reaction. I am a bit alert now not to hurt any one through my act. My expectancy from the world has started diminishing gradually to bring harmony in contacts. It is a self imposed choice and challenge, I consider. The ultimate measure of a person is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but at the time of challenge and trial. Lourels are rare in life. Misunderstanding and mistrust prevail even in honest relations. Everytime I pledge to compete with myself through better performance. Faith in self is the best and safest course. And I earn that failh in self gradually here. Two days are left in my return. I have almost covered highlight of my Swargashram visits so far. I wish to continue my visits. I wish if my parents and all kins and friends come here regularly. Sameep in particular likes to come here again and again.Today Swamiji came out of room to the audience for a little while. He did not want to talk much hence forth. He requested all to remember HIM every moment in whatever possible way. According to him there has been a division of work and assignment in between GOD and us. We have been assigned to remember HIM and HE is to take care of us. During one of our stay at parmarth, we joined a Yoga camp for a week. It was done under the supervision of some specialist from Varanasi. Meditation and pranayam were also part of whole exercise. On the last day Swami Asanganadji, the chairperson of Parmarth Niketan took us, the participants in the camp, to a place a bit away from the main locality near the Ganges. He informed that it was the place being utilized for cremation. We were asked to sit in Sukhasan or Padmasan as per comfort and meditate with close eyes. He led our thoughts to self cremation. He asked us to imagine our own death and there after cremation at this place. Let a pyre be arranged on the bank of the Ganges and our dead body being laid down over it. Then we were to witness in our imagination to get the pyre be fired and gradually our body transformed to ashes and the ashes being thrown away into the pious and ever flowing water of the Ganges. Then he asked us to slowly and gradually come out of meditation and then to sit on the bank to watch the flow of river and flow of thoughts before becoming normal. He took us away from our thoughts and self. It was a unique experience for both of us. On my every subsequent visit I go to the site for some moments, without fail. It is on the way and very near to the Banyan tree under which Jaidayalji Goenka and Swamiji made their discourses for many years. Back home I told all about this episode to Babuji Sandeep and all. I have developed an urge to be cremated at the same place if convenient. Biren and his wife joined us at swargashram for five days during this stay.They also enjoyed the place and programs and decided to come over here every year conveniently. We wanted to extend our program of stay but could not as Sandeep was to go abroad. So only one day was left to return back and wrap up my write up on fifty years of contact with swargashram. This evening when I was playing over harmonium in my room, suddenly a lady entered into. She wanted me to continue with my bhajan. Gradually she became very sentimental and started crying. I was shocked. Soon she became normal and then sang a bhajan on my request. I was interested to ascertain what disturbed her so much but I did not have any opportunity again as it was my last day of stay. Once I met a sadhu during my morning walk on the bank of the Ganges. When I told him about my belonging to Purulia, he shared his rememberance of Purulia which he visited about thirty years ago. Through his description about the place and person who hosted him, I could guess that it was Babuji and his friend Birendra mukherjee. I met a person from Kanpur who came to the place to explore for a week or so but was attracted towards its tranquility and surroundings so much that he did not go back. His wife and only son are in Kanpur and visit him as per their convenience. His first visit to them was after three years only. Krishnaji, a young brahmchari who gave me first lesson on harmonium during my last stay suggested me to consider to living here for good after knowing my family situation as Sandeep was there to look after all business and family. And today Swamiji requested all old persons to consider the same. He further clarified that old meant beyond 60 years of age. I thought I had one plus year still in my hand for consideration. There are many such inspiring instances reflecting in my mind and memory. It connects me to Swargashram even when I am away.I have seen its changing face. It has transformed from a place suitable for sadhus only to a place of great tourist interest. Trekking into Himalayas and water rafting in the Ganges developed it into an international tourist place. Hundreds of foreign tourists live here for months together. Some of them got settled here and at Laxmanjhoola permanently. In recent years Ramjhoola has come up at Swargashram connecting it with Rishikesh. Motorable road has been constructed up to all Ashrams through a barrage across the river. Hundreds of shops and some hotels have come up. Many cybercafé and restaurants are there to cater the needs of visitors. I am a witnessee to these changes but my chief attraction remains its natural surrounding and swamiji’s discourses. I have also gone through thorough change in due course which is very much visible in appearance. But the changes inside can be felt by me only. Hopefully I am to continue with my connection to this great place in future also