RELATIONSHIP...........THROUGH ROTARY

Every relationship begins in the freedom of love and ends in the bondage of relationship. Still we love to develop relationship. Friendship is a kind of relationship where as friendliness is a quality. We can be friendly with many, but friendship can be developed with some specific persons. Rotary generates friendliness amongst all but at the same time it provides an opportunity to develop friendship or relationship. In the course of my navigation through Rotary world, I happened to come into close contacts with many. Some contacts were time bound, some for longer period, some for specific reason and result but some could transform into some kind of relationship. Biren and I got great opportunities to develop mutual relationship while working hands in hands in Rotary. Though we were together for one year in college, we would not have made so close a friendship. Working together as the president and secretary, we developed a team spirit for common cause that gradually developed in to lasting friendship. We never looked back in last 30 years of our close relation though he quit Rotary many years ago. We could find many common interest and ideology to elevate our relation at personal level even beyond Rotary. Our oneness developed from Rotary relation to friendship and then to like family members gradually. It had become a daily routine to spend good long hours together interacting on every matter concerned or unconcerned. Within his limitation, he tried to be with me in all rotary functions and assignments. He attended all our family and religious functions very actively. He accompanied me to some rotary clubs during Governorship election campaign tour. He was always by my side to provide necessary strength during adverse time such as Shobha’s treatment at Ranchi and during my grandmother’s death when my parents were away. At the time of my struggle to set up business at ROZ KA MEO, he visited our plant to encourage me to keep it up. In fact gradually he became part and parcel of our family. He developed good rapport with my relatives in and around. My parents, jijaji and mamaji have developed affectionate regards for him and vice versa. Sandeep and Sangeet love him like their own uncle. We enjoyed our day to day contact for more than twenty years, though now we live apart and miss each other’s company. He is very soft and clear hearted person. He lived a very dignified and contented life so far. He is not a person of great means nor he had big successes in business, but he had descent and prestigious self built career having good standing in community and society. He has very charming personality and maintains good health with grace of God. He is about 4 years senior to me. Though satisfied and contented in general, he gets upset at times with concerns about his ward’s career. We have little opportunities to interact now but our intimacy and mutual trust remains intact. Bissue was another person, Rotary gifted me as friend. I was vice president of Rotary club of Purulia when his father became president. Naturally we worked together as team. During my frequent visits to his office in this connection, I found him helping his father and taking interest in his Rotary assignments. Later he was inducted into Rotary when I was president. I don’t remember the sequence of happenings that brought us intimately close. He was about ten years junior to me. But we became very close friends in spite of significant difference in age, education, childhood background, interest and hobby. He was very innovative and co operative, always ready to help others and that made him so esteemed. He maintained a very beautiful garden. Gradually we would spend our evenings in his garden together. Biren too joined us later and we became grand trio. I inspired him to be more active in rotary. He was hesitant to start with but gradually opened up to get involved. His family members and in particular his wife was very happy with this development. Incidentally Sangeet and his daughter Vineeta were born on the same day in same year. Once we had a grand family trip to Goa along with Sangeet and Vineeta. That brought us closer family wise too. We had another pleasure trip to Darjeeling to attend Rotary conference which was attended by mother Teressa. Rtn Dilip and Vinod accompanied us and we won six district awards there in that conference. But the most rewarding experience was our visit to most of the clubs in North East in connection with my campaign for governorship. That brought us an opportunity to develop very close and personal relationship as we were the only two together to cover so many clubs in our maiden exploration into the region. It was a hasty decision to sponsor me as candidate considering our just owned standing during my president ship, but as reciprocation to the trust bestowed up on, I decided to visit all clubs to develop personal contacts. I wanted Biren to join me in this venture but he could not accompany me due to some personal business assignment. Bissue came forward to my help in spite of his limitations as fresh Rotarian. We planned our itinerary and made it very clear in between us to take it as fellowship tour to meet rotary people for our own pleasure without considering its impact on election. We proceeded to Calcutta after meeting Rotarians of Khargpur and Midnapur on the way and flew into Assam from there. It was our maiden visit to region. It was Rotary that provided us this great opportunity. From Guwahati airport, we drove directly to Shillong, popularly known as Scotland of India. It was mid December and was very cold there around. We could make it to attend Shillong Rotary Club’s meeting directly. We were offered hot whisky to warm ourselves in the chilly weather. But I was happy with tea only. We stayed over night there in the scenic Pine View hotel and spent a few hours next day meeting Rotarians and enjoying beauty of the hill station in between roaming on the Mall and around the lake. We were charmed with its beauty and in particular with beautiful local people. We did not have time to visit Cherapunjee. We met Governor of Meghalay in his office for tea. We were invited to have breakfast with Rtn.Singhania who owned a cinema theatre there in addition to liquor business. I noticed that Rtn. Singhania was very particular to offer PRANAM to his parents after daily prayer before entertaining any one for any purpose. I made it a point to follow his routine there after. Thereafter we traveled 18 hours by bus to Tinsukia to attend their meeting. Next day we met Rotarians of Dumduma in the remotest corner of Assam. It was Sunday but they shifted their meeting to adjust to our program, a rare gesture. We then moved to Jorhat after meeting some Rotarians in North Lakhimpur on the way. Mr. Bedi, a sardar Rotarian hosted us in his hotel there. Next day we entered into Nagaland to meet Rotarians of Mokongchu. It was a very young club. The town itself was beautiful and hilly. Nagaland appeared more forward and westernized in its outlook and outfit. We spent a few hours there enjoying young and charming membership of the club. Our next destination was Imphal in Manipur. Nagaland and Manipur have great cultural difference. Manipuris are ardent followers of Lord Krishna. Every family has idols of Radha Krishna and a little pond in the backyard of house. This is also depicted in Manipuri dance and drama. Finally we arrived at Guwahati crossing the mighty Brahamaputra River, attended rotary meetings and flew into Calcutta enroute to Purulia to attend annual club meeting. We could not visit the famous Kamakhya temple for want of time. We enjoyed the fellowship of people and took first hand idea of the region to come over there again as tourist. But it could not be accomplished so far. Bissue’s forward approach and presentation during this wonderful exploration inspired me to promote him as a candidate for president ship of our club in the annual meeting and he won the election against a very seasoned Rotarian BG instantly. Next morning we left for our second lag to North Bengal Darjeeling, Sikkim and Nepal tour. We visited Siliguri, Darjeeling, Gangtok and Biratnagar to interact with Rotarians there around. We had some pleasant and some unpleasant situations during our journey but were very much satisfied and happy at the end. These adventurous tours made us very intimate. Those 7/8 years spent with him were the most memorable and pleasant time enjoyed in Purulia. Each evening spent in his beautiful garden leisurely brought tranquility and peace in mind. Time spent there without any agenda at random was the best ever enjoyed. Almost at the same time we ventured into new business, me at Faridabad and he at Jaipur. We both were under terrific stress during the same period. We had less time to spend together now due to his frequent visit to Jaipur and my engagement with Sandeep’s marriage preparation etc. On 4th September’89 he had to leave for Jaipur suddenly without attending Sandeep’s engagement ceremony scheduled to be held next day. That made me annoyed a bit. On 16th September, Sangeet phoned her friend Vineeta at Jaipur. Bissue picked up the phone and talked with her all about Sandeep’s engagement etc. And next morning on Vishwakarma pooja day, I got the sad information about his sudden death. This short lived but deep friendly relationship with him will remain as an asset for ever. Mr.Harish Jain is another great fellow whom Rotary inducted into my life. Though he is 10/12 years older to me, we have developed a very unique relationship. At that time he was the CEO at UNICEF’s Calcutta office, when he visited our club as a Rotarian. I don’t understand how our relationship developed. We did not have many opportunities to interact even. He might have visited Purulia a few times in connection with Unicef’s development program. It was admiration at first sight affair between us. Thereafter he visited our home perhaps twice only. But we both felt like family members from first meeting itself. Our mutual love and regards grew without reasoning and without frequent meeting. He has very charming personality. He is soft spoken person but capable of instilling into heart directly. After retirement he returned back to Delhi. Meanwhile I was in process of moving to Faridabad. This provided us an opportunity to strengthen our relation. He once visited us at our rented flat in early days when my business was not that smooth. Still he could visualize better days for me here and suggested to have a 1000 sq.yd land for our residence in due course with green plantation all around for birds and in particular parrots to perch on. In fact when he visited us in Purulia, he met my pet parrot there. He could refresh my MITHU’s memory and hence the suggestion. I am happy that God has been gracious to comply with his imagination and we could construct a house of his suggestion. Yes, parrots do perch in and around. Though not in sound health now, he could make it to visit our home once. He was so satisfied to see Sandeep’s working in the plant. He thrilled me by his intimate hugs. We are assured of our mutual love and regards and caring for ever. Rotary has opened a new world of ushering into new contacts for me, some directly and some under its influence indirectly. I have a long list of friendly contacts developed while working through Rotary. It ranges from local people to Rotarians from abroad. It varies from high Government officials to poor villagers and patients. Some contacts were for limited duration and some lasted for longer period and gradually diminished as sweet and rewarding memories but they have made a mark some how. We live that we learn to love. We love that we learn to live. A similar love story with least expectation out of love developed under a bit indirect influence of Rotary as spring of inner growth. After spending a month in beautiful valley of Kashmir, we were trying to resettle in Purulia in autumn of 1981 perhaps. We used to spend leisure time watching the street crowd from our balcony. We noticed a young and ever smiling girl passing through every day with a pencil in her hand. As time pass in between me and Shobha, we made a guess that she might be a teacher. We were in search of a tutor for little Sangeet and had therefore informed some contacts to find out. Within a short time the same girl came to Shobha with her credentials. She was from a Gujrati family studying her self in higher secondary. She started coming to Sangeet from next week. Thus she came into our contact. She was very regular, punctual and smiling tutor. She was eldest amongst three sisters and one brother residing very near in a rented two rooms flat. Her father was out of business for the time being. She had to go for home tuition to support the family at this tender age while studying her self. At times I would go to her to enquire about Sangeet’s studies and performance. She was ever smiling and never expressed her agony by any means. Gradually Shobha started sharing some family information with her and tried to help her out a little bit. Thus we became a bit familiar. In due course she appeared in examination in the midst of her struggle. Unfortunately she got plucked in Chemistry and thus had to lose a year. It made us all sad. It took time for her to recover from the shock to restart routine and life again. She had no alternative than to appear in Chemistry paper next year. There was no way out than to lose a year under the prevailing system. I offered my self to guide her in Chemistry. She was delighted to accept. I had to go through Chemistry books again as I was out of touch for many years though it was my favorite subject. I took a few classes. That brought us a bit closer. We started talking about her family matter too. She developed trust upon me to share personal matter such as her relationship with a Bengali boy even. On enquiry I found the boy not trust worthy. After her own verification, she broke away but with some shock. Meanwhile Rotary club of Purulia arranged a science exhibition at Bissu’s garden. On my request she along with her younger sisters participated there as demonstrators on various machines displayed there in. That was her maiden visit to the garden which she liked very much. We could have some opportunity to discuss our relation and contact. I suggested her to come down to the garden any time in evening as I along with Bissue used to be there very regularly. Thus we met there for a few times to share feelings of mutual admiration. I don’t know how to define this pleasant development. It is a state when our primary relationship is not with some one we love but with self. It is an opportunity when we get ready to show our soul to some one beloved. To love, one has to be lovable. And a lovable person is some one who is natural, easy, simply radiating only human values that makes any one attractive in spite of age and status. In due course she cleared Chemistry and then graduated. That made her very busy. Her mother got seriously ill and later passed away. She went to Gujrat for a month or so. Thus we had a pause in our interaction and meeting. Mean while she got training to teach handicapped children and joined Mano Vikas Kendra. She worked very hard to support her family in particular her younger sisters and brother. She got her one sister to get trained to open the first beauty parlor in Purulia. In fact she had to make a lot of adjustments and sacrifice her own desires. One of her younger sister got married. I was otherwise engaged in my Faridabad venture but was in touch with her occasionally to know how life was moving on at her end. She was happy and worried at the same time. She never approached for any help nor did I offer. I just kept on watching her struggle with proud and prayed for her progress. Once she informed about her ensuing Gujarat visit for marriage purpose. I was delighted that time had come for her to settle though late. She returned after marriage and was to move to Canada to join her husband there who was settled there for good. She came to meet us before leaving for Canada. Shobha presented a suitable gift to her on behalf of the family. She invited us to come down to Canada once she got settled there. It was a long and typical relationship that went on for more than ten years. Rotary and Bissue were no doubt instrumental in promoting this relationship. It was a coincident that Bissue took her last breath on 16th September, which is her birthday. We did not try to renew our contact there after for long. About three years back when the couple along with their newly born son visited Purulia, we were there. We invited them for dinner and Shobha made a gesture to present a gift to her and baby. We accepted her invitation to visit them conveniently. It gave us immense pleasure to see her so nicely and happily settled after great struggle. We could not make it to visit her due to Shobha’s illness and then refusal for Visa. I therefore suggested Sandeep to include Toronto while making plans for his US visit. He did it in spite of inconvenience. Yesterday he was there with her and family. He is having nice time there with her family care. She accompanied him to all places of interest and took personal care. He was the first to visit them from her side. I could feel the thrilling expressions while talking over phone. I myself feel that I could make my promise to visit her fulfilled to some extent. Now we are not in regular contact but do talk over phone on Diwali and on her birthday to pass on best wishes. There might have some kind of romance in this typical relationship to begin with. The highly turbulent feelings associated with romance might have been there for some time. But otherwise it is a deep affectionate relationship that is steady, stable and that lasts.