IMPACT

A person is product of surroundings and situation around. Life gets influenced by persons in contact, incidents, institutions, circumstances and happenings. So is my character and personality built around. I inherited creativity, if at all I am creative, from my mother who is still very active and creative. I learnt to live within limited means from my father who practically needs nothing specifically for himself. I try to learn art of ever smiling from Shobha as she keeps it up even in adverse situations. I owe a lot to my hostel life and rotary for my personality development. I am a sentimental person perhaps because of love and affection I received from one and all through out. Similarly my silent relationship with Shobha at Ranchi and its unusual ending had life long impact on me. It has influenced some of vital decisions too. In fact my marriage was also in consequence to my undefined relationship at that tender age. I was not so fortunate to have enjoyed love and affection of my grand father who died before I was born. My grand mother bestowed all her love up on me to compensate for that unfortunate situation. I used to be taken care of and be in her company for most of the time. She never left me back home when ever she went on long pilgrim tour. But unfortunately she too departed when I was in class seven and at the age of eleven years. Parents were supposed to be very strict and disciplined towards their wards. So it was my great grand mother at the age of around hundred years who extended the extra elderly love up on me there after. At times she used to tell me all about hard life and work of my great grand father that brought prosperity to our family. She was approaching hundred years when my grand mother died. Earlier she had seen death of her two sons. She had seen the tough time through when my great grand father started his career as a hawker. Perhaps that made her very possessive. She wanted me to spend good amount of time with her. Her face was full of wrinkles. Earlier she used to move around but gradually she got confined to her bed and she lost her eye sight too. Considering her old age and poor health, she was always inclined for my early marriage. So proposals started coming immediately after matriculation when I was only fifteen years. I had to put forward with escaping efforts to postpone it till I graduated. In the process, her desire of witnessing my marriage could not be fulfilled. She died in 1962 at the age of 105. I had to take another hard decision of moving away from her to Ranchi for graduation, a year before her death. Every week I used to visit home to meet her. In between, one of my uncles used to meet her in place of me as she had lost her sight. She had not been informed about my living in hostel. She would never allow me to get away. During four years, from matriculation up to graduation, many proposals came for my marriage from family living in Jharia , Ranchi, Varanasi, Madras and Calcutta. I met and interacted with proposed girls as babuji wanted my final approval though it was not the prevailing system in our family and society in general. Most of the girls were acceptable but some how I could defer the matter till I graduated and attained 18. I got my B.Sc degree in August 1964 and there after got admission into Law. But now I had no excuse for deferring marriage proposals. Mean while Babuji got a proposal from Nagpur and wanted me to meet the girl and family. He further assured for not considering any proposal for at least one year in case it did not mature considering my law examination in summer next. I left for Nagpur and met with Soni family on 12th January 1965. During interaction, I did not ask any question, just looked into her smiles and smiling face. During interaction in between I was informed about her hobby, education and other casual interests. Exchange of photos or formal bio -data was not in system during those days. In fact marriage negotiation used to be responsibility of guardians. But Babuji had very modern approach in this regard. In this case, I decided to report back all about my observation to family members and then let them see the girl before taking any decision. But during lunch, by chance I could know her name. Her father asked her 3 year old younger sister to utter her didi’s name. SHOBHA, she whispered. That changed the whole idea. Instantly I confirmed the acceptance of the proposal though official communication was to come from Purulia. That is the everlasting impact.